My Kid is Better than Your Kid

BLOG ANGRY!!

Just kidding. Well, not really. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am blogging while experiencing some raw emotion here, and I will try my hardest to not channel it so severely that you never want to read again because I am whiny and emotional.

But the thing is I am whiny and emotional, so why are you reading this again?

So, my almost 13 month old hardly stands alone. Why stand when you can crawl at rocket speed to get to your toys (like, you know, outlets and cords and stuff.)? Why take the time to learn to move in a new way when you already go fast enough doing your crawling thing? Mommy and Daddy will pick me up at moments notice (guilty, yes, I know), so why waste the time?

Waste the time baby, please learn, because Mommy is going crazy waiting for you to take steps, or at least stand more than 10 seconds at a time! I see nine month old babies running around, and I am just like: "Are you serious right now?" Then shove it off with the typical thought: "Oh, come on. I don't want to be chasing that baby around all the time. He can take his time." Then the next minute I am at his side screaming and jumping around like a Russian ballet coach "Step! Step now! Now! Again! AGAIN!"

OK, so I don't scream. But I do say some things encouragingly at a normal volume.

Going to story time at the library or any other mother-baby event always has it's over achievers.

"My son Hamm walked at 9 months, and started writing cursive at 15 months."

"My daughter Sheila started memorizing and reciting the U.S. presidents at 21 months."

"My twins started their own secret language at 2 months."

"My son started creating his own clone at 17 months."

"My daughter has already created a car that runs on her dirty diapers. It doesn't have very good mileage but it's better than gasoline! You know, gotta be eco-friendly..."

And so it goes.

I try not to be the bitter mom who is secretly wishing their child will show some hidden talent that makes them a viral hit then suddenly, you are all millionaires. I really do try. I only attempted to get Isaac to climb to the ceiling using nothing but his hands and feet twice yesterday.

But I guess, everyone needs to accept their child's accomplishments one at a time, no matter how far apart or close together they are. Whether they walk at 20 months, talk at 15 months, or start gymnastics at 6 months. We love them, right? :)